Welcome to Healing Choices of Louisville

If you have found your way to this web site, it is most likely because you have discovered a deep betrayal as a result of sexual, financial, or substance orientated secrets and lies.

I would like for you to know two things. First, I am deeply sorry for what I am certain is shocking and traumatizing season in your life. Second, I would like to let you know that there is hope, even great hope that you can recover from this crippling trauma and move into a safer and more certain place.

When there is a betrayal by someone once trusted, it is natural to experience extreme emotional pain and to feel frozen and shocked. Due to the psychological and physical wounding, you may be experiencing the following symptoms of trauma:

• Emotional dysregulation
• Physical discomfort
• Grief
• The death of your dreams
• Health concerns
• Disordered eating
• Sleep disturbances
• Hyper-vigilance
• Fatigue
• Rage
• A sense of panic due to a sudden lack of safety, isolation and confusion

You may not be able to recognize yourself; there has been a psychic split between how you understood your life to be and what you have now discovered.  Trauma and paralyzing fear can produce observable behaviors that mimic erratic actions such as obsessively checking your partner’s phone, computer, checking account, and location. The intense pain of betrayal from an attachment figure can also bring about rage, inability to think clearly, problems at work, depression, hysteria, hyper-vigilance, and sometimes the sense of not being able to move in any direction at all.

All of these behaviors make sense to me due to the research that supports when we are traumatized our greatest focus is on safety, we need our world to become certain again. It is my belief that the actions noted above are not due to the need to control or necessarily to being codependent. I have learned from my clients that it has much more to do with the deep need to be safe, even if the respite is just for a moment.

As a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, I practice through the lens of a trauma model. I acknowledge and recognize that the partner has experienced profound trauma with the sudden or staggered discovery of the betrayal which affects many facets of their lives. Abrupt and painful consequences are felt by the partner; concerns over Sexually Transmitted Diseases, the children, finances, career, family, friends, and isolation from even your best friends.

I work to unpack the patterns of relational injury, violation, and abuse by the acting out partner’s behaviors. The following topics are discussed in sessions with my clients:

• The Trauma Model
• Safety Seeking Behaviors
• Intimacy Anorexia
• Gaslighting
• Formal Disclosure
• Boundaries
• Betrayal By An Attachment Figure
• Safe People

I am here to help, and to let you know you can get your life back. Please reach out to begin your journey of healing and recovery.

Sincerely,

MJ Mueller, LMFT, LPCA, CMAT, CSAT, CCPS
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Licensed Professional Associate
Certified Multiple Addiction Therapist
Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
Certified Clinical Partner Specialist